Read BEFO Seein the Movie

Sapphire did her mutha fudgin thing with this book, PUSH!! My golden rule is to always read the book before seeing the movie and it is a must do with this book. When I heard that the movie was coming out and looked at some previews, I yearned to read the book. The trailers were too juicy and just enough to put catching it opening day on my 'to do' list. So, for a while, I searched for it and finally got my copy last Sunday during my vacation in San Luis Obispo. Ever since, I did not, no, could not leave the house without it!

Reading like a forbidden memoir, PUSH grants insight into the life of an invisible person. All the devastating aspects that perhaps one would catch if Precious was white, skinny, attractive, light skinned, or well to do go sickeningly unnoticed. She seems to slip through the cracks of inner city society and ultimately lives the life of an invisible person unseen by her mother, father, and school officials. And one knows there are so many, not only young black girls, but young black boys in these communities that suffer the same; visible enough to suffer, but not visible enough to be thrown a life line.

Sapphire does a wonderful job at allowing Precious to tell her story first hand with exceptional vernacular that is genuine enough to be believable and unperceivable as overdone. What I truly loved about Sapphire's attention to this detail was the fact that Precious' sentence structure and word choice gradually improved with her educational achievements. It was a realistic improvement, meaning she did not go from speaking straight up Ebonics to conversing like a college graduate or high school graduate for that matter.

I love a gooooood memoir, fiction or non-fiction and this is another to put on the list for repeat. I laughed, teared up, rolled my eyes, and even "aw hell naw" while on the train during my usual commutes. Buy the book or get to your local library and give it a read before the movie comes out. Release date has been set for November 6, 2009. Write it in your calenders or punch it into your Blackberry. Please support and don't bootleg.

One More Sip?

So I read this article on MSN Health and Fitness that discussed 2009's unhealthiest drinks in America. Of course one of them came from one of my highest temptations. Born of a family that loves fast, delicious, crack coffee, I was doomed when one popped up on every corner and in damn near every mall. As soon as I became apart of the working force, quick coffee based beverages became a must have.

MSN listed a hot chocolate item from Starbucks at 760 calories. Now this is only hot chocolate. While reading the article, I laughed at the weakling whom went to Starbucks for child's play and got duked on the calorie intake. Then my laughs turned into a sad realization. If hot chocolate could pack on 760 calories, could you imagine what a flippin venti Caramel Macchiato could do?! Damage, I know.

I used to consume a total of three Caramel Macchiatos a week. There to administer my fixes were Pete's Coffee, Java City, Starbucks, and Ambrosia. I hardly ever did Pete's, but I used to love Java City for the quickness, Starbucks for the familiarity, and Ambrosia for that small downtown feel. Java City actually had only 410 calories for its Caramel Machiatto. But coupling that with a scone or a chocolate filled croissant and there goes a huge amount of calories allowed to me for that day.

One knows that coffee and a pastry is not feeling enough. I would do this around 8am and then need a snack by 10am to only have a huge lunch by noon and then at least be able to wait for dinner around 7pm or later. And I sometimes would have the nerve to be hungry after that.

Goal is to stay away from the crack coffee's and stop drinking my money away, consuming products that would only hurt me in the long run.

This Song Says It All

Groovin’ in the back ground, the sounds of Chris Botti and Jill Scott give testimony to how I’m suffering. The creamy sound of Chris Botti’s trumpet lustfully smoothes over a deep, but graceful base line like butter milk. The effortlessly beautiful percussion saddens my mood to the relieving sensation of a much needed cry. Words finally make their appearance, intertwining with melody to perfectly aid like a midwife to the birth of this sobby state of mind.

“Good Morning Heartache” was Billie Holiday’s confession that bled with the pain of a faithful drug addiction. Going to sleep with the hope that the rejuvenation of night would somehow erase the troublesome behavior was her wishful thinking. Truth be told, it is mine as well. Some would agree and argue that her heartache were the drugs while I know that my heartache is my weight of course. I wake up in the morning having to say good morning to it, acknowledging its presents. There is no running from it or taking a break. Every time I wanted to forget about the extra 75 pounds burdening my frame and masking my sexy figure, it would be glaring at me in reflections; faithful until I decide if it’s going to be me or it.

Unfortantly for the talented and beautiful Billie Holiday, it was her. "Good Morning Heartache" sometimes finds itself into my subconcious, coming from my lips in the form of a hum. Chris Botti and Jill Scott's cover of this beautiful song only gives me another reason to love it even more. Cover could be found on To Love Again: The Duets. Enjoy

Weight: 235 lbs.

Height: 5'4

Age: 23

Cause: Addiction to everything that tears my guts apart but taste freakin delicious!

Issues: Muffin top, RITZ (Raw Inner Thighz), Spending all my morning time lookin for something to wear that would hide the muffin top and give me a cute shape.

Damn! Look at that sexy sistah! She's even pretty down to her perfect sized thighs. And the look in her face is flippin fierce! Go head gurl! That fine young woman I often find myself drooling over is me. Those trips down memory lane could be so painful. Back to the days when I was 20 and a perfectly shaped 160 pounds; muscular thighs and nice arms. As I listen to Sade's "Is It A Crime," I find myself feeling the same way about my body before husky boyfriends. Is it a crime that I still want her and I want her to want me too. I mean even down to Sade's description of how deep her love was matches the love I have for my shape at the time of this pic. I think I was even proudly conceded. "Well why did you leave her then, if you loved her so damn much?"

I would have to say it was my love for food that broke us up. I cheated on her with bread, butter, donuts, fried animal flesh, and chocolate. Blowing up my conscious like a neglected baby mama in need of diaper money, I ignored her. Friends and family warned me that this beautiful union would end. They kept reminding me of how much I would miss her if she left. One could say I was a food hoe. Not that I gave up my body for food, well... Yes I did!! I fell victim to the goodies and the eating habits of the big men, the thick football players, the "stuff it for fuel" lovers. I woke up a month ago disgusted with myself. Disgusted with muffin tops and crying every morning because nothing fits. I woke up unhappy and alone, alone in the sense of not having love for myself.

This is my confession and commitment to her; the confident woman that made me feel oh so good about myself. Her and I would be one again damn it!!